K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
