so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Randomize
