My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
