we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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