May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
