Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
