Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
