I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
