worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
