So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
