Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Even my vagina gasped.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
