just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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