does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
