Sponge bath it is.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
