I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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