You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
