I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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