What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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