hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
