The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
