Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
