so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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