told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
