Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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