i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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