if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
