Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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