yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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