And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Even my vagina gasped.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
