me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
