Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
