What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
