They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
