According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
