Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
