I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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