You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
