its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
