Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
