I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
