Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
