Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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