I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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