Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
