he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
