I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
