i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
