Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
