so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
