with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
